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Juice Feast Shopping List

  • Profile photo of Alexa Darrin Jul 10, 2012

    One fun thing about going on a Juice Feast… you get to go shopping!  Here are the essentials!

    Blender: For the price of a small car, you can have the best blender on the market. You are supposed to consider it an investment. I have been meaning to start an investment portfolio, so I guess the first item on my ledger can be BlendTec.

    Nut mylk bag: This is for straining the juice you make in your expensive blender.

    Juicer: If you don’t want to blend and strain your juice, you can buy a juicer. The one I bought, and love, is the Breville Juice Fountain. It is amazing. Easy to use, pretty quiet, multiple juicing settings, juices an apple in about 5 seconds flat. And it looks damn sexy. The only drawback is the basket is a little hard to clean.

    Enema bag: If you don’t know what this is for, google it. The enema bag pictured on the website is pink. As if that can distract you from the fact that you are going to stick this up your…

    Skin brush: Every morning of the juice feast you are to brush my skin for five minutes to support my “organs of elimination.” Skin brushing removes the top layer of skin, letting the cleaner and newer layer come to the surface. It is like a waterless bath. My hair dresser told me that when you brush your hair, you stimulate hair growth. I am not going to end up like a gorilla, am I? Here is what would be awesome: I take my skin brush with me to a park and sit on a bench while brushing my skin, all the while muttering something like “brushing the skin demons out, brushing the skin demons out…”

    Tongue scraper: It looks like some medieval torturing tool.  Even the name sounds painful. I guess that tongue scraper is a tad more succinct than tongue bowel toxicity white film remover. The film that forms on your tongue during the juice feast is a reflection of your “bowel toxicity,” and decreases as you become cleansed. Your breath is supposed to get more and more “foul” as you cleanse, before it improves, which is one reason your dating life on a juice feast will go downhill faster than you can say wheat grass. The website recommends taking the tongue scraper with you to work because the coating can appear during the day. Another reason to take it to work: for threatening my misbehaving freshmen students.

    Shower filter: A shower filter is to combat the evils of chlorine. Chlorine is responsible for myriad health and beauty ailments including anemia, which I happen to have. When you use a filter, your hair and skin becomes softer and smoother. Your skin is less dry and itchy. You gain the ability to read people’s minds.

    Cleaver: For obvious reasons (straight up gangsta!),I was the most excited for this purchase. I didn’t even care what it was for, I was just happy to have  legitimate excuse to own a cleaver. Incidentally, it is for opening young coconuts.

    Bamboo cutting board: For slicing and dicing my fruits and veggies. Bamboo is a renewable resource, as strong as steel, and is sanitary because it absorbs very little. My question: why not bamboo juice?

    Mason jars: These are to store the juice you make in the morning to take to work. When I started my juice feast, I was sort of hoping that I could use something a little less conspicuous than a see-through glass jar, since I had to put this in the staff refrigerator. The upside: At least you don’t have to worry about anyone stealing your lunch.

    Aloe vera jelly: Fresh aloe leaves can be used in lotion or juices, and have healing powers. One suggested use for the jelly is as a face mask at night. It is comparable to getting a face lift. I am going to try to find colored aloe vera jelly, maybe purple or blue. That way, when my mother tries to wake me up early on a Saturday morning, I can scare the s#$% out of her. Yay for multitasking!

    Coconut oil: A skin moisturizer and lip balm. You can smell like a tropical beach! It is also to be used to heal cuts and scrapes, and as an ingredient in juices.

    Dr Bronner’s soap: 100% organic, 100% recycled packaging, no chemicals. The website author says that even though you smell sweeter and sweeter the longer you cleanse, we still like a little soap every once in a while.

    And finally…Lots of fruits and veggies!

    Here is a link to my favorite place to shop online for all things raw and healthy:

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  1. Profile photo of Zander Hathaway

    Informative and hilarious post, Al! Yes, you are already more like a gorilla than you may realize… and yes, you will become more so by skin-brushing and drinking green juice, haha! I would be careful with those colorful aloe gels on your skin (unless they are homemade with organic blueberry or blackberry juice coloring) and certainly don’t add that chemical-laden stuff to your juice (I know you wouldn’t); fresh from your own plant is best!

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